A couple weeks ago, a friend told me one of my posts came off as really negative. As I re-read it, I started have self doubt because that was not my intention. It is not how I try to live my life.
I have had so much negative energy in my life over the years that I try my best to limit how much I bring into my world. I don't listen to or watch the news. I don't follow any news channels on Facebook. In my opinion, most of the 'news' today is sensationalized negativity. What gets the most reaction from the public is what gets the headlines.
I try to surround myself with positive and encouraging energy as much as possible, because try as I might, the negative continues to happen. I continue to be hurt, I continue to be rejected, I continue to be torn down. Adding other people's hurt to my own, doesn't help keep my own energy level where I need it to be.
This week has been a difficult week for me. Full of self doubt, worry, anxiety. Nothing seems to be helping.
Yesterday afternoon I was driving and I heard the song that my friend was telling me about, 'you aren't falling apart, you are falling into place.' It did give me some peace for awhile.
But by the end of the day yesterday, I was pretty sure that the place I was falling into was just a mess. I am doing a lot of soul searching right now and praying for guidance. I know I am lost and feeling really negative about where I am right now, but I am trying, I am praying to get through it.
The one this that this journey has shown me so far is that I am exactly where He wants me to be today. I know that without a doubt. I will be where He wants me to be tomorrow.
I may be feeling negative about today, but my outlook for tomorrow remains positive because I know that He is there with me. I know He is here with me today. I just don't know what it is He wants me to do today. And that is where I fight with the negativity.... Time for me to pray more.
No comments:
Post a Comment